A PANDA BEAR AND BUBBLE TEA

Mind blank
Heart empty
Body cold
Soul gone
Eyes shut
Hands stiff
Feet numb
Throat frog
Missing

MACHETE WORM

im sorry friend. I didnt mean to make you regenerate against your will.
The aft 50% will grow back wont it? At least that is what I remember from middle school science
What were you doing in my backyard? What about the neighbors?
They are very weird.
I didnt see you crawling around the tree that I whacked to oblivion.
Landscaping is tough work. So is tiling floors.
At least you are not bait on the end of a fishhook. That would be sad.
Please regenerate quickly as I am truly apologizing for this mishap.

CANDY FICO

I am a normal man who loves swedish fish and gummie bears
They have no FICO
I am a regular guy who loves candy canes and candy corn
They have no FICO
Neither does twizzler, warheads or DOTS
Yet they always seem to work themselves into good homes without downpayments or good credit

PINNACLE

Is this as good as it gets?
How do you know you are destined for big things if nothing stupendous has happened as of yet?
Feeling low about myself
Not a good year
Have kept it all inside so as to not bend anyone's ear
Its not over for me. Its gonna happen
This slump of depression and melancholy time
Theres no where to go but up
How sad I feel, on my knees I kneel
Pray for a day without confusion and confess
I need help

TACA 390 CLICK HERE FOR LINK

i survived this crash and escaped with minor injuries

surreal experience. saw plane crack open like an egg

my mind is constantly replaying what happened that day.

the bloody faces, the destroyed plane, the botched landing after the second attempt

makes me think I am here on earth to accomplish big things.

it was not my time to die that day

my heart goes out to those who perished

SHAMPOO AND SOAP

SHAMPOO AND SOAP
ON A ROPE AND LOTION
POTION AND COCKTAIL
FOR YOUR FACE AND NAIL
PEDICURE MANICURE
NOXEMA NIVEA
LOOFAH FOR YOUR BACK
PUMICE FOR YOUR FEET
Q TIP TWEEZER PLUCK
NIP TUCK
WAX BIKINI WHEN VISITING BIMINI
PORCELAIN VENEER
BIORE FOR PORES SO CLEAR
FRESH BREATH FLOSS
DONT SWEAT DEODORANT ANTIPERSPIRANT
ANTI CAVITY FLUORIDE
MOISTURIZE HYDRATE
MINERAL OIL OLIVE OIL
SHAVE
PITS FACE LEGS
BATHE
BUBBLE BATH
WHITEN
TEETH CREST STRIPS
COMB
HAIR
GEL MOUSSE SPRAY
KEEP THAT STYLE LASTIN' ALL DAY
PHEROMONES LANCOME, DK
N.Y. L.A. MIAMI
UVA UVB RAYS
TITANIUM DIOXIDE
HYDROGEN PEROXIDE
SODIUM LAURYL SULFATE
SODIUM BICARBONATE

GOOD AND BAD

Good judgement comes from experience

Experience comes from bad judgement

RISK

RISKING IS DARING
DARING TO LIVE ON EDGE
EDGING UP TO THE CLIFF
CLIFF DIVING INTO THE SEA
SEEING IF YOU CAN SURVIVE
SURVING THE FALL
FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUR DREAMS
DREAMING TO FALL IN LOVE
LOVE YOUR SELF
SELF ESTEEM GOES A LONG WAY
WAYWARD TO POSITIVITY IS HOW YOU SHOULD THINK
THINK STRONG
STRONGLY STAND
STAND BOLD
BOLDLY RISK

LOVE GILLS

Do fish date?
Do they fall in love?
Do they breakup?

Imagine 2 fish in a small fishbowl
1 breaks up with the other
4 what reason, only the out of love fish knows
but they still live together?
How sad for the fish that got his heart broke
Swimming in close quarters to the denial of guppy love
Afterall where can he go?
The ocean?
The toilet?
Flush him out of misery

Do fish date?
Do they fall in love?
Do they breakup?
Do they feel emotion?

ONCE

Your reputation is ruined, you can live quite freely.

LADIES TIP 1

Tip for the ladies # 1
Men classify each woman in an instant based on two things: Looks and Personality
Ok maybe its just Looks
Then you are sniffed and thrown into one of 4 classes of vagina: Dirty, Safe, Clean, & Immaculate
We like all four.
Dirty: Hit it with no strings attached. Our favorite.
Safe: Hit it and still be friends with benefits.
Clean: Hit it and keep around perhaps as girlfriend material.
Immaculate: Hit it then wife it. For the possesive man.

Next time you meet a guy, remember that it aint the perfume hes trying to smell.

TSA STRIKES AGAIN

i am tagged like the scarlett letter
destined to be anal probed once again by the "BUSH babies"(tsa)
As i look at the "regular" airport security line I notice everyone appears to be american looking
So why am I on the extra security foreigner line?
My whiteness standing out of a crowd of cafe skin
like willy wonka in the middle of his chocolate factory
I am questioned, "is this really you in the passport photo?"
"No it is a picture of my ass" I ponder as a response.
My shoes come off. Hole in socks.My belt slips off. Pants dont stay up.My dignity slides off.\
Arms up, i spin around like a dradle made of clay.
The wand beeping with every swipe around my balls
Damn gap button fly
They scan my laptop with a round swab that appears to be a hemmoroid tissue
I am then released back to the wild, and barely catch my flight.